The crater looked alive, like Godzilla was about to leap out and mess up Tokyo.īush follows the Bible until it gets to Jesus. Sperm wasn’t something he would choose on a menu, but it still tasted better than asparagus.

The poor are not free - they’re just not enslaved. His father warned him to never do anything he couldn’t justify on Oprah. Men cannot fall in love with women they don’t find attractive, and women cannot fall in love with men they do not respect.ĭuring sex, men want feedback while women expect mind-reading.Ĭooper looked like a cow about to be tipped over. He was a whale of a catch, and there were a lot of fish in the sea eager to nibble on his bait.Ĭheap hookers are less buck for the bang, The told him a fraction of the truth and hoped it would take just a fraction of the time. The dinosaurs stayed drugged out, drooling like Jonas Brothers fans. He once read that 95% of women fake organism, and the rest are gay.īeauty may be in the eyes of the beholder, but ugly is universal.Īdultery is sex that is wrong, but not necessarily bad. I haven’t felt this alive since I lost my virginity. If sex was a weapon, then Monique possessed WMD She was hotter than a Class 4 solar flare! He embraced his only daughter as if she was deploying to Iraq. “You couldn’t beat the crap out of a dirty diaper!” Like the Aerosmith song, his get-up-and-go just got-up-and-went. She began paying men compliments as if she expected a receipt. Not since Bush and Cheney have so few spent so much so fast for so long for so little.Īs a nympho for mind-fucks, Lisa took to politics like a pig to mud.

If this was a kiss of gratitude, then she must have been very grateful. He smelled trouble like a fart in the shower. I haven’t faced rejection this brutal since I was single. Just because there are no laws against stupidity doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be punished. “These are lines from my asteroid-impact novel, Regolith:

Progressive quote